is he talking about that little cut?
i was going to go to bed but it’s time to smack down so im gonna inform you all of a thing or two about the comparison between male and female victims of domestic violence that might shock you.
Similarities and differences between male and female victims
In the South Australian study, the similarities between male and female victims of domestic violence included.
- the reasons they remained in a relationship where there was violence and abuse
- the triggers for violence and abuse;
- feelings of shame and embarrassment associated with the disclosure of violence.
The ways in which male victims’ experiences of domestic violence differed from females’ were:
- males reported that they were not living in an ongoing state of fear of the perpetrator;
- males did not have prior experiences of violent relationships, and
- males rarely experienced post-separation violence and, in the one reported case, it was far less severe than in male-to-female violence.
Female victims of domestic violence in the South Australian study confirmed the prevalence of physical, psychological, emotional, social and financial abuse (often in combination) as well as other intimidating or controlling forms of abuse, such as stalking, sleep deprivation or driving a car too fast (*The South Australian phone-in interviewed 120 callers, most of whom were female victims of violence. The female respondents reported all forms of abuse and often the various forms of abuse overlapped in one abusive event.) They also described patterns of extreme cruelty that often developed in long-term, violent relationships with ‘strategies’ of abuse becoming more diverse over time.
95% of those interviewed reported that they had experienced abuse over a period of years. In many relationships, acts of cruelty were carried out on the women, the children in the family (as primary and secondary victims) and on family pets. Humiliation, cruelty, jealousy, isolation from friends and family and the infliction of emotional, sexual or physical pain were common experiences. Victims frequently spoke of the abusers’ need to control all aspects of their life, both in and away from the house.
The link between the length of the relationship and the experience of cruelty was particularly notable, especially as the common theme in the women’s accounts was their daily experience of living in fear. The findings indicated that the vast majority of female victims were frightened of their partner, compared to none of the male victims.
Although there is some evidence that both men and women engage in abusive behaviour in heterosexual relationships, the nature and consequence of women’s violence is not equivalent to men’s in the following ways.
- Men’s violence is more severe:
- Women are more likely to be killed by current and former male partners than by anyone else;
- most male homicides are committed by males in public places as a result of alcohol-related arguments;
- the main reasons men kill their female partners are desertion, the ending of a relationship, and jealousy. However studies of wives who kill their husbands reveal that there is a history of marital violence in more than 70% of the cases and over half of the husband killings occur in response to an immediate threat or attack by the husband;
- some studies suggest that women’s violence is more likely to be self defence where the male partner is violent;
- men’s violence towards women is most often an attempt to control, coerce, humiliate, or dominate by generating fear and intimidation. However, women’s violence is more often an expression of frustration in response to their dependence or stress, or their refusal to accept a less powerful position; and
- most women whose partners are violent live in fear before, during, and after separation from them. However male victims are far less likely to be afraid or intimidated, and are more likely to be angry.
-Bagshaw, D, Chung, D Couch, M, Lilburn, s & Wadham, B, Reshaping responses to domestic violence, Office for the Status of Women, Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet, Canberra 1999.
okay? i love how men experience a small portion of violence at the hands of women, like a fucking cut on his arm and he thinks he’s a full blown domestic abuse survivor worthy of shitting on all the experiences of the women who die or are hospitalised at the hands of male violence every fucking week.
like okay, it’s shitty that your girlfriend cut you or scratched you or whatever she did, i’m not sure it’s not clear but come back to me when you’ve had to spend years as a child watching your step dad pin your mum down on your bed while you were quietly playing just so he can spit on her face because she was trying to stand up for herself against him.
nobody says women can’t abuse men, the argument is that the abuse on female victims is far more severe and should be the main focus point, when you make posts like this you are actually erasing the entire struggle that we go through every day because you need to make your little issue front and centre and of course everyone cares about the white male’s issues more than anyone else!!!!
Not to mention male violence has historical and political context surrounding it. Men for thousands of years, globally have been using violence to subjugate, silence, and seek dominance over women. Female-to-male domestic violence is deviant, but male-to-female domestic violence is the norm and is systematically protected.